I had a crappy week last week in so far as my physical fitness goals are concerned. The 2 weeks prior to that were great, so it is a bit more upsetting knowing I’ve likely ruined the progress I had made. It’s my own fault really. I have to be stronger. I can’t let being social be the excuse to eat and drink what I know is wrong. I can’t let being nice (or wanting to avoid conflict…that is what got me here in the first place) be an excuse either. I can’t allow that sort of behavior around me either, which will probably lead to conflict…but if I am the sum of the people I spend the most time around then it is imperative that I surpress that behavior whenever possible. It won’t make me very popular I’m certain.

Standing in at the funeral this weekend I think may have been a bit of a catalyst. I’ve got at least one person that pretty much is relying on me right now. That makes it even more important to not be weak.

It may be a bit insane and hard to sustain but I have to make it happen. I did it before, granted I was more of a loner then. I’ll do it again and hopefully raise up those around me. That or they better find a lifeboat of their own. The plan is put in at minimum 30 minutes (up to 60) everyday. Regardless of what I have happening that day, especially social things, it has to happen. I have a collection of short and long workouts I can do, so nothing should stop me. Even if I find myself super sore at some point, I still have to go through it. The only change will be the intensity level. As it turns out, based on my reading, doing a light workout is perhaps even more important when my body feels destroyed. The increased blood flow will actually help with recovery.

Rant over.


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