4-2-21 Life update

it’s been a while since I have updated this blog. I’ve noticed more likes and follows despite this…which is better odd, but cool. I hope my meanderings have been useful in some way.

Today is the first day I’ve been on the metro in over a year. it’s a weird experience. I’m going to spend the weekend with a partner of mine. I think this is the first time I’ve been able to spend this much time with a poly partner that wasn’t basically a hotel outting. There’s a poly milestone for you. They’ve risen the bar for good partners. I feel at ease around them.

On the fitness stuff… I’m platued at 170 and 22% bodyfat. Sometimes I’ll drop to 167, but that seems to be mostly at the expense of water. I haven’t been doing the same amount of evening workouts and walka due to injuries. I’m in the mend now. My trainer is changing gyms so my schedule is currently in flux. I’ll know more next week on how I’ll move forward. Either we can make something work at planet fitness or I’ll have to work with a different trainer at my main gym.

My goal is still 15% bodyfat by August 15.

2-3-21 I appear to be melting

Carbs are not the enemy. My water weight went up because I had a lot more carbs the preceding Saturday. Healthy carbs being flat bread, noodles, beans, and tofu. I also had a *crazy* amount of sex and burned over 1300 calories that day (my average day is around 900 calories burned via intentional exercise)

I keep meaning to put a new update here. Life has just been busy, and full. I’ve mostly kept to the schedule I had planned earlier. I’m not getting as much dance time as I had hoped and the recent snow had reduced the amount of walking opportunities I’ve had but the ~1800 calorie count has been consistent. As of this morning I was 172 lbs…which is kind of insane. I’ve been burning a little above 1lb of fat (and just fat, I actually gained lean mass) these past couple of months. If ~3500 calories is worth a lb of fat, then this suggests I have a deficit of 500 calories per day. At this activity level it suggests my maintenance calories is about 2300 calories.

I’ll be doing another weigh in tomorrow.

1-5-2021 New Routine Plan

I’m making adjustments to my work out schedule to increase my total amount of movement without breaking myself in the process. My diet is pretty much on point and I can’t really go lower in calories safely or effectively. So all that leaves is movement. I’m basically adding more low intensity cardio options in between the more intense stuff. I’ve hit a plateau and the only way I’ll move forward from here is going all in…at least for a little while. My goal is 15% bodyfat (about 25lbs of fat) by summer. Here’s the schedule:

DaySundayMondayTuesdayWednesdayThursdayFridaySaturday
Morning1 hour Bootcamp (Hiit/Resist)1 hour Bootcamp (Hiit/Resist)PT/Strength1 hour Bootcamp (Hiit/Resist)PT/Strength (weigh-in)1 hour Bootcamp (Hiit/Resist)Walk 30 min (audiobook)
Noon (lunch break)Hour+ hike (audio book) — or larp practiceRun 20-30 minutesWalk 30 min (audiobook)Run 20-30 minutesWalk 30 min (audiobook)Run 20-30 minutesPT/Strength
Evening (after work)Dance routine practice (30-60 min)
Dance routine practice (30-60 min)
30 min follow up str, then
Dance routine practice (30-60 min)
Dance routine practice (30-60 min)30 min follow up str, then
Dance routine practice (30-60 min)
Dance routine practice (30-60 min)30 min follow up str, then
Dance routine practice (30-60 min)

12-18-20 Setbacks can be a good thing

I decided to copy/paste what I wrote on IG. Not that it really matters but going by my last post it seems like my fitness oriented posts tend to be more popular. At the end of the day I write here as a form of journaling for my own mental health. It is also part of my own artistic expression, as writing is the only thing I feel I’m any good it when it comes to art. There are many artists out there that no one will ever see. Part of the human condition I guess?

If something I write just happens to help someone else, then I’ll consider that a bonus.

I had a bit of a set back for today’s weigh in. Not a huge one true but I don’t want to take anymore steps back.

It reminded me of one of my all time favorite movies: Gattaca. I feel that I’ve never been able to achieve success without applying a disproportionate amount of effort to get there. This is why I always try so hard. I have to. I don’t have talent. My life has always been defined by endurance and grit.

I know when it comes to fitness, it isn’t about how hard I train in a single instance. Honestly, that’s a quick way to get injured. It’s always about that consistency. I used the export to csv function in fitbit to look at my calories out and could see my average out per week was down to about 2700 from 3000. I need to bring it back up. I haaaaaaaaaate running in winter but I’ve gotta bring that back in. I’m thinking 3 miles Monday/Wednesday/Friday. I might add a long hike on Sundays too (2 hours?) It’ll have to be in the morning, which will suck even more but it is necessary. Work has been absolutely draining so noon or evening runs aren’t reliable. I want to make this happen.

So that’s my #fitnessjourney post for the week. Off into the void.

11-13-20 focused on fitness

Not depressed today, but I am a little angry, or driven. I’m making progress towards getting to my body fat goal. I keep thinking about how I see posts trying to suggest overweight men are still attractive. I don’t believe in that. I’ve even seen a few muffin tops post in a group and get what I view are pity compliments. Meanwhile on the same group a guy in good shape will post and get swamped in attention.

I don’t want pity. I want recognition for my hard work. These next couple of months on a strict cutting and workout program are going to be tough. But I’m almost there. I don’t want pity. I fought my way into a stable career. This is the next step. I’m going to enter the 40s at my best.

9-22-2020 Get up

I had a bit of a talk with my wife last night regarding the challenges I’m having. I recently started reading through “The ADHD effect on Marriage”, which has been very on point for the experience. I understand the symptoms are a bit beyond her, but nonetheless I’m effected.

So today I was feeling it again just looking through social media. And an anger came over me, at myself. I’m tired of hating on myself. I am starting to look at the medication route after a message from my aunt (who is a psychiatrist) but in the mean time I’m doubling up on my fitness goal. And my competitiveness. I need that fire to burn away the darkness. The mixed blessing is that with no fair this year I don’t have those extra calories and reduced workout time to worry about. I’m committing to the idea of getting ripped by my 40th birthday. I don’t know how long I’ll be able to hold onto that status when I get there, but just to do it the one time will be enough. I need to be able to look at myself for once and not have those doubts.

I have a good trainer. I have a good diet plan with consistent tracking. I have enough tools at home to supplement the training I do. I can make this happen.

7-16-20 Leg day

5 minute bike. Just writing down all the exercises I did. I can’t remember how many sets I did.

banded side walk with resist band above knees

  • banded side walk with resist band above knees
  • Farmer’s carry with 35lb DBs
  • Deadlift green KB
  • 10 tire flips
  • Farmer’s carry back
  • squat with 35 db, stop at box
  • box jumps on tire
  • single leg step up (keep foot on box) no weight (15 reps)
  • Single leg step up with 35lb weight (lowest box)
  • pistol squats with trx
  • reverse lunge with trx (make sure back knee just about gets to floor)
  • banded pullups 3 sets. I got up to 15 reps with green.

7-7-20 str train bicep/back

Circuit base but with reps instead of time blocks. Aimed for 10 reps, then 6 reps with heavier weights on last 2 rounds

  • Wide grip lat pull down 80,100,120,140,160
  • Cable pull 30lb? Can’t remember
  • Single arm rows 25, end with 35
  • Curved bar curl, wide supinated grip, wide pronated grip, close supinated grip, wide pronated grip…60,60,60,40
  • single arm alternate grip (start neutral), 20lb?
  • Next set
  • Inclined curls 20lb
  • heavier single arm rows
  • Preacher curls 15lb
  • wide grip pull up with assist band x10, for total of 50 reps

4-8-2020 new plan

I think some of the insecurities that are flaring up for me are due to me not being particularly happy with myself. Fixing my body has long been a big part of that. I can’t depend on my interactions with other people to help me there…unreliable, and it can back fire as well if I don’t trust myself well enough.

Doing other things to, part of that building competencies, helps too. My options have been limited and gaming has not been so helpful as of late. Honestly gaming hasn’t been that helpful for a long time. I did feel dancing helped as I was building a skill, and touch was nice too. Online stuff won’t help there and I need people to work with, it is very much a touch thing.

Strength training was great too, but there aren’t any options for that right now. I tried finding stuff online but with COVID-19 there is just nothing to get. Hmm what if I take out the canopy at least? Weather can be a problem though. Especially wind.

Ok here’s what I think I need to do for now…

Since my body is making me get up early anyway, maybe either do a walk around the neighborhood or try to get a morning hike in (early is better for less people too). I’d probably have to start by 7:30…it is roughly 30 minutes to do the whole thing? Maybe budget 40 for the drive back and forth. Then continue with the lunch time run. Solderfit zoom workout at 6. What about saturday/sunday? Well if I keep waking early I can do the 9am zoom workout still. I need to text cesar about strength training options while on lockdown…hopefully I get something. I need to grind harder than ever now. I also need to be stricter on the diet now.

What else can I do in this climate to keep feeling like I’m improving?

8-14-19 workout

  • 500m rows
  • Deadlift bar 90lb 12×1
  • Dl bar 140lb 10×3
  • Dl bar 170lb 5×3 (struggled on form)
  • Squats with 40lb dumbbell 12×3
  • Cable row 100lb 10×3 then superset tricep pulldown 80lb 8×3
  • MTN climber x10, plankjack x5… increment by 10 and 5 until 50 and 25 reps
  • Dumbbell lunge 30 lb 8×3, both legs… focus on raised calf
  • Rdl 35lb 12×3
  • Front lat raise thumbs out 12.5lb 10×3 and superset lat raise 12×3…reverse on last set
  • Pulldown palms face me 120lb 5×3
  • Kb 35 lb upright row 12×3