Doing this in reverse based on memory
Talked about my ability to dig in deep for extra reserves (fitness, but also life)
Being able to define baselines on health with my wife. Impact on me, her. Being able to incorporate shared physical activity (maybe dancing) to give reason
What does she need from me?
What happens if I go completely hands off?
Will discuss progress on my goals next time
Discussed how companionship improved
Financial backgrounds differences impact life outlooks
Ethnic backgrounds effect on how we handle money
Differences in priorities.
Career…will look for new in Feb
Financial stability.. appropriate salary…pto
CC debt free by end of 2019
Clear CC debt
Save for roof, driveway
We talked a bit about my concerns from yesterday. I’m not sure if any solution came out of it. I think at best a Luke warm non-committal to maybe do a 1 day a week sf session from my wife.
I guess I’m being asked to be what feels like eternally patient. I feel like shutting down and not bothering to try to help her anymore with the health stuff.
I think I feel sad.
We can’t avoid pain but we don’t have to suffer.
We talked about my ability to reframe a negative experience into a net positive one. Useful skill.
Example, my “failed” poly relationship led to me writing down what I consider positive and negative traits to look for in potential friends and partners.
Talked about the Amber thing at length
Take away is I need to take care of myself. Focus on what I like about myself. I define my positive qualities. I have only get one me.
I can state consequences of actions without trying to control anyone. I.e if a person is going to move away, I wouldn’t be able to sustain a relationship. Doing so does not mean I disapprove of their action. If they view it that way, that is them creating their own meaning.