12-27-18 solo therapy

Doing this in reverse based on memory

Talked about my ability to dig in deep for extra reserves (fitness, but also life)

Being able to define baselines on health with my wife. Impact on me, her. Being able to incorporate shared physical activity (maybe dancing) to give reason

What does she need from me?

What happens if I go completely hands off?

Will discuss progress on my goals next time

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12-27-18 couple therapy

Discussed how companionship improved

Financial backgrounds differences impact life outlooks

Ethnic backgrounds effect on how we handle money

Differences in priorities.

Wife’s priorities

Career…will look for new in Feb

School

Financial stability.. appropriate salary…pto

CC debt free by end of 2019

My priorities

Fitness

Clear CC debt

Save for roof, driveway

Maintain career

12-19-18 couple’s therapy

We talked a bit about my concerns from yesterday. I’m not sure if any solution came out of it. I think at best a Luke warm non-committal to maybe do a 1 day a week sf session from my wife.

I guess I’m being asked to be what feels like eternally patient. I feel like shutting down and not bothering to try to help her anymore with the health stuff.

I think I feel sad.

11-29-18 therapy

Nifty phrase

We can’t avoid pain but we don’t have to suffer.

We talked about my ability to reframe a negative experience into a net positive one. Useful skill.

Example, my “failed” poly relationship led to me writing down what I consider positive and negative traits to look for in potential friends and partners.

11-8-18 therapist

Talked about the Amber thing at length

Take away is I need to take care of myself. Focus on what I like about myself. I define my positive qualities. I have only get one me.

I can state consequences of actions without trying to control anyone. I.e if a person is going to move away, I wouldn’t be able to sustain a relationship. Doing so does not mean I disapprove of their action. If they view it that way, that is them creating their own meaning.