I spoke with a therapist yesterday in an attempt to bulwark my mind against all the crap I’m dealing with while I’m unable to force a change in the situation. We talked about my youth growing up. I also talked some with A about some of that too. A bit of a realization I think I just had is why the current home situation is bothering me so much.
Growing up, while my parents were loving people, my brothers were often unstable. This led to me experiencing a ton of tension and that general feeling of unease at home. I had gaming as an escape mechanism, but even that was of limited use.
While the situation now isn’t exactly the same, I’m once again feeling unsafe at home. This is messing with my entire world view.