9-26-19 pre-couple therapy

Trying to put together an agenda of things that should be talked about today.


  • At the moment it feels like things have been stable.  Generally good things have been happening…though finances are still rough currently with fair season.  It isn’t bothering me a lot though.
  • We started trying to do a tuesday night craft night.  So far we’ve only done it twice.  With wife’s job changing, schedule is whacky and she’s tired.  We did start playing BL3 together though.
  • Got wife to try out WCS dancing with me once.  I’ve continued on with it, she hasn’t but again mostly due to scheduling issues between work and ren faire work/prep
  • tried getting her into the bodyboss portable gym…only done once so far.  Hoping to stabilize on that. (need to start planning out a schedule for it after Nicole/Jen visit on halloween…oct 30th thru the 3rd for jen)
  • Got a jigsaw massager, used it a few times (should probably schedule that too)
  • Tried the feeld thing.  There was an interest in renewing the triad thing.  Wife still grappling with why she wants that / if she even wants that.  There was talk about the nesting partner angle.
  • Things seem to be going well with her GF
    • I’ve gotten better about my anxiety over her nights out.  She’s also been better at setting more realistic expectations and communications which helps me better manage it.
  • I’ve made friends but nothing really regular.  Perhaps the closest thing to a regular friend is ‘smartass’ from WCS but still not the “best friend” connection I think I’m looking for
  • Dealing with Angel at ren faire who definitely wants to be more physical with me, but I’m not comfortable with her for health reasons as well as availability issues (distance would make it difficult for maintaining the sort of contact I’d prefer in a relationship).  Keeping it at a strictly platonic level for me.  I tend to hang out with her group of people at the Dragon, and people watching from the inside is entertaining.
  • Answered my own relationship questionaire doc, re-evaluated what I want in a poly relationship
  • Raven shaman art project
  • New friend Kat.  I like her but she made it clear early on she is only looking for friends right now.  Which works out fine for me is that is what I need more than romantic partners right now.  It does set my expectations though of keeping it at friends, which is making me re-evaluate how I approach poly people I meet in the future.  And ask myself how much energy I want to put into it.
  • My workout schedule has slowed down with fair, and I’m feeling the effects.
  • fair recharged wife’s batteries…despite physical health hit

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