10 years ago the idea of having 1 romantic relationship seemed impossible to me. Now not only do I have more than 1 (Poly), I’m trying to manage the risk of opening several more. W T F?
I haven’t been able to think clearly today to write a long entry, so I’m going to put this in outline format so I can reference later
- Friday, went to a social board game night that was run by a kink / play group
- The poly group involved with running the event(s) was really into my wife. She got a lot of friend requests, even from people she didn’t directly meet (we basically spent all night playing Scythe). I got 0. I don’t particular care about people on a friends list, but that does suggest something else.
- We stayed up stupid late. If we do this thing again, need a better system to let my wife know we need to GTFO. My text to her phone, which was directly in front of her, was completely ignored because she was so engrossed in conversation.
- Eventually got home…slept till like noon.
- Mostly played Farcry Primal through sunday afternoon
- Had a 1 1/2 date with another poly person. Cool chick with lots of geek creds.
- Ended up visiting her house and meeting her husband (metamor?). They also have a 7 year old. Nice people. They also literally lived 5 minutes from us (driving).
- Discussed poly and some of her background after the child was put to bed. She is interested in starting up a kitchen-style polycule. In part due to a want for in depth relationships. She noted they don’t really have any emergency contacts in the area outside of themselves. They were originally from CO and CA.
- Learned that she is seriously sexually active. It was interesting how matter of fact she was about it. From a health standpoint that had me somewhat concerned.
- Eventually headed home. Didn’t go to bed until very late (my sleep schedule is screwed right now).
- Finished Farcry primal on monday
- Wife was out most of the day to visit her partner.
- Eventually talked with my wife about my concerns, in particular around sexual health and keeping in line with our goals for any additional relationships we take on. For that reason I’m not too keen on the kink group. It just doesn’t feel safe, and I don’t feel comfortable with some of the control issues there. A could be alright; however, I was a bit concerned about the “dating phase”. Wife spoke with A, and it looks like A understands and appreciates our view point. It also looked like she was definitely interested in starting up a relationship with either or both of us, in addition to another person (with possible add-on wife). I plan to wait until she’s “settled” on partners, then review STI results.
Throughout all of this, I’d still like to see S. Hopefully she’ll be more available after next week. I feel a strong connection there emotionally and philosophically. I also feel like there is a lot to learn on both sides. I suppose part of all of this is me trying to fill in the hole Steph left behind after she passed away. I feel the most similiar qualities in S. Kinda weird I suppose in a way.