So I finally broke things off. Didn’t go the way I expected but that rarely happens anyway. Shortly after my therapist appointment she goes into a meltdown on my wife and I. My wife didn’t handle it All too well. Not too sure I did either, but it did seem any attempt to descalate the situation was met with more attacks. Apparently she blew up on her husband too, so this may have been unavoidable.
Things settled down a bit later after she had a doc appointment that put her on anesthesia. My wife cleaned up their house after getting her sewing stuff.
By Saturday there was 1 more altercation. I was cleaning up the yard of fallen plants at the time. She sort of apologized, then brought up the Spectre of breaking up. I thought on it a bit, then followed through on it.
It was not a happy relationship. Whatever good stuff was there was gone. I feel a little bad about it…but also relieved? Even towards the start the start there were drama moments. I was already in it at the time, but I should really been more wary about the J drama. Even if they weren’t involved at the time, the behavior is a red flag.
There are always at least 2 sides to a story. She painted him as this guy with major emotional regulation issues, but how much of it did she contribute to? Towards the end with us, she used every opportunity to point out something wrong with either of us.
When that is the majority of the relationship, there is no point to it.
So in the future when it comes to starting new relationships, whether poly or not, pay careful attention to how one speaks of their friends, enemies, and lovers. Also be aware if they had a traumatic childhood.