Author: lionwolfbird

Positive traits 2019

Posted on by lionwolfbird

These are in no particular order.

  • I have an iron will
  • I’m intelligent
  • I am a Slytherin in that I’m focused, do not let obstacles stop me, and I’m deeply loyal to my close friends.
  • I’m “really good at fucking”
  • 5/5 pornstar rating
  • I have a ton of physical endurance
  • I’m learn from my mistakes
  • I’m a good listener
  • I make people feel safe
  • The “glue” of my family
  • Patient
  • Resourceful
  • I’ve been equated to a swiss army knife
  • I can surprise people with how passionate I can be in face to my usual quiet reserved demeanor
  • Insightful
  • respectful of others’ feelings
  • Soulful eyes
  • Attractive shoulders
  • Looks good in black
  • I am detail oriented
  • I am clever
  • I am good at goal setting
  • I am good at creating evocative imagery through my writing.
  • I’m known as the person who can find answers to almost anything
  • I’m still pretty good at video games
  • I’m a decent shield fighter when larping
  • I have “good battlefield awareness”
  • I have been a professional mentor
  • Open minded
  • Analytical
  • Good planner
  • Self-Driven
  • Independent
  • Has grit
  • Great problem solver
  • Fast reaction speed
  • Persistent*
  • Supportive of those close to me
  • Humble to a fault (I write as I try play up my strengths)
  • I smell nice.
  • I appreciate constructive critism
  • I generally have a positive outlook on life.
  • I workout regularly.
  • I eat healthy by cooking my own meals and prepping food for the week.
  • I enjoy stories that explore the moral grey
  • I love playing D&D
  • I enjoy Ren Faires
  • I don’t care for most sports (but I do enjoy watching UFC fights when the situation presents itself)
  • My chest hair resembles the Batman signal

Positivity 2019

Posted on by lionwolfbird

I’m trying a new thing after a realization last night. Short of it is that after I saw Sara briefly after my SF session, and I wanted to be friendly and say hi. Besides her being unfairly cute (not necessarily in the sexy way), I appreciated her physical fitness and have been wanting to make more friends with people who care about their bodies. Anyhow…that voice interrupted in my head before I could say anything and made me believe that she (and anyone for that matter) would instantly dislike any attention from me specifically. So I did that “I got other stuff to do” routine and bailed.

As I walked, I started to think on why I think that way? Why is my gut reaction that no one wants to hear from me? Why can’t I flip that around and approach it from the angle that people actually want to hear from me? How can I fix the spectrum of my self-esteem to be on the positive rather than negative?

Sometime that same day, I was idly putzing around on OKC and noticed a new person on my list (because I haven’t been active in messaging or likes/dislikes, my list is normally static). Reading the profile, she seemed like someone I could have stimulating conversation with, and she was just interested in friends and did not care for hookups… which at this stage I really appreciate. The other thing I caught on to was the lack of overt negativity.

I thought more about that as I looked at other profiles and noted how many start by complaining about the kind of people they don’t like.

So I started thinking I should start positive and note my good traits. That, of course, is where I ran into problems. I don’t know how to write about myself in the positive all too well. And so, I’ll be creating a sticky post listing those traits, and positive things people have said about me. I’m going to pull a Pokemon and collect them all!

Maybe I can smother that darkness by overwhelming it with contradictory information. I’m sort of seeing the climax scene in “Flight of Dragons” with the bad guy being beat by math and logic.

1-8-19 workout

Posted on by lionwolfbird

I’m still having trouble getting back to my normal sleep schedule. So much house stuff to do. Including meal prep(dropped to 125g chicken). Need to improve here..just sucks that I’d like to get more gaming time in. Anyway..

  1. Warm-up
  2. 5 min jog routine
  3. Dynamic warmups with 10 push-ups after each exercise
  4. Partner based sit-ups, 40
  5. 60 pushups
  6. 100 partner sit-ups with elbow taps
  7. Circuit x2 1 min sets, 10 push-ups after each set
  8. Sledgehammer
  9. Box jumps
  10. Kb swings
  11. Squats on bosu ball
  12. Mtn climbers with sliders
  13. Ball slams
  14. Bands with lat and front raises
  15. Tire taps
  16. End circuit
  17. 5 min of sprints
  18. 20 burpees

So a lot of pushups.

12-30-18 workout

Posted on by lionwolfbird
  1. 600m row
  2. Lunges, flutter kicks, cruncges
  3. Ss1 – 4x
  4. 10 squat w 30lb slam ball
  5. 5 slams
  6. Run
  7. Weighted bird dogs
  8. Bicep curl variation (hold)
  9. Ss x3
  10. Bent over row 35lb
  11. 8 pushup
  12. Tricep 27.5 lb 4 sets (1st 22lb)
  13. Hold v with 10lb weight twice..3rd no weight
  14. Plank toe tap 20 rep x2
  15. Ss rower 100m, 30 high knees, 20 penguins
  16. Lateral raise 10lb x3
  17. Single leg forward dip with 10lb x2
  18. Alternate toe touches x20 rep 2 sets

New Years, goal recalibrations

Posted on by lionwolfbird

I started the new year with a 2 hour soldierfit session. It reminded me that I need rash guards… because 2 hours of sweating the way I do plus running in the cold = OUCH MY NIPS

I am going to revise this post a few times then pin it when I have sorted out my new goals. First I need to acknowledge what I did accomplish last year, and what I learned. That will help inform the stepping stone goals I need to set in order to get to the bigger goals. For example, I was able to get to 15 clean pushups last year, starting at none at the start of the year. I still want to get to 50. So I figure 30 by April should be an ok goal. I’ll aim to up my Max by 1-2 a week. I just need to put this stuff in bullet form.

I’m also planning to get back into martial arts this year (ikca Kenpo). This means I won’t have much in the way of evenings open. I want to achieve new heights with my body… figuratively and literally. That means dedicating myself to my fitness goals now.

That’ll also mean less time for gaming. I’m giving up on twitch. I don’t need to sacrifice my time and health to find an audience. I think I am beyond needing gaming for a short term dopamine rush. I’m just in it for the stories now.

On the relationship stuff, I’m not sure if I’ll give poly another shot. I effectively have a green light from my wife, but I’m still anxious that taking that route will end up putting me in another tic for tac trap. The one thing I do want though is a partner who is also focused on progressing on fitness and has a grit similar to mine. Nothing romantic is needed there.

On work… I’m not sure what I want there. I’ll think more on this.

12-27-18 workout

Posted on by lionwolfbird

Went in for a later workout, with all the sessions and a consultation I did regarding O365.  Jose class, which did not disappoint…so to speak.   1500 reps was the name of the game.  I got maybe half way.  I was too tired to count at some point

  • Warm up run, with jogs up the hill outside in ~40 degree weather intermixed
  • dynamic warmups
  • 2 min squat jacks
  • main event (order not exact):
  • 40 burpees
  • 50 tire squats
  • push ~90lb sled across gym
  • 100 jumping jacks
  • 50 weighted situps (40lb dumbell)
  • 50 kb swings (yellow, ~35 lb)
  • 10 sprint sets
  • 50 pushups
  • sled
  • 50 toe touches
  • sled (no one was doing the sled, and I knew if no one did, he’d get the class somehow…altruism for the win?)
  • repeat former exercises
  • finish with burpees + sprints

There was probably more…but I’m too tired to recall.

 

 

12-27-18 solo therapy

Posted on by lionwolfbird

Doing this in reverse based on memory

Talked about my ability to dig in deep for extra reserves (fitness, but also life)

Being able to define baselines on health with my wife. Impact on me, her. Being able to incorporate shared physical activity (maybe dancing) to give reason

What does she need from me?

What happens if I go completely hands off?

Will discuss progress on my goals next time

12-27-18 couple therapy

Posted on by lionwolfbird

Discussed how companionship improved

Financial backgrounds differences impact life outlooks

Ethnic backgrounds effect on how we handle money

Differences in priorities.

Wife’s priorities

Career…will look for new in Feb

School

Financial stability.. appropriate salary…pto

CC debt free by end of 2019

My priorities

Fitness

Clear CC debt

Save for roof, driveway

Maintain career

12-20-18 workout

Posted on by lionwolfbird

I’m close to getting 15 clean pushups in before my form craps out…anyhow

  1. Warmup run with high knees, butt kickers, sprints, side shuffles
  2. dynamic stretches with 20 high knees between each exercise
  3. Partner setup, 5/5/5 to 25/25/25 pushups, situps, squats; increment 5
  4. circuit
    1. 3 tire flips
    2. tire step throughs
    3. 10 rope slams
    4. 10 medicine ball slams
    5. 10 ab rollers
    6. 10 sliders, knees to chest
    7. high knees via agility ladder
  5. Circuit 2
    1. 15 box jumps
    2. 15 trx rows
    3. “box sprint”…run forward, shuffle left, run backwards, shuffle right
    4. squat jacks along fire hose
  6. Circuit 3
    1. Any of the above exercises for 10 count (except tire flips)
    2. “man maker” with 10lb dumbells
      1. sprawl to pushup, single arm row while holding plank, each side, then back to squat, curl, shoulder press
  7. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaabs
    1. flutter kicks 1-2-3/25
    2. knees to chest 25
    3. situps 25
    4. crunches 40 (elbows touch knees)
  8. Stretch

 

12-19-18 couple’s therapy

Posted on by lionwolfbird

We talked a bit about my concerns from yesterday. I’m not sure if any solution came out of it. I think at best a Luke warm non-committal to maybe do a 1 day a week sf session from my wife.

I guess I’m being asked to be what feels like eternally patient. I feel like shutting down and not bothering to try to help her anymore with the health stuff.

I think I feel sad.